“It’s not your fault.”

This is one of the most important responses to someone who shares their experience of sexual assault, according to counselor Ms. Michelle Berry.

Inspired by a desire to shift the school environment, two former La Salle students decided to create change, emphasizing the importance of empathy in believing the victim, understanding, and education after sharing their stories with their counselors.

“They didn’t feel super supported as they walked through the hallways, around conversation, maybe they heard sexual comments that were made,” PE & Health Teacher Ms. Debbie Schuster said.

In their senior years, La Salle graduates Gracelyn Rael ’22 and Kayla Erving ’22, alongside Ms. Berry, established a program in the form of an oral presentation for the Health 1 class curriculum that provided tools, resources, and education about sexual assault and consent for students.

“It was a collaboration to realize their stories needed to be heard and who the audience should be,” Ms. Schuster said.

They brought to life an ongoing routine for the freshman class — with Rael returning every April, during Sexual Assault Awareness Month, to speak about her experience and the importance of raising awareness. Erving, however, has not been able to return since graduating and moving out of the Portland area.

Continuing the tradition, this year’s presentations took place toward the end of the month on Thursday, April 24, and Friday, April 25.

Each Health 1 class started with data provided by Ms. Berry, including a statistic from the National Sexual Violence Resoure Center (NSVRC) that stated one in four girls and one in six boys are victims of sexual abuse before the age of 18.

The NSVRC also reported that 56% of girls and 40% of boys from 7th to 12th grade experience sexual harassment.

Shortly after giving numerical insight to the issue, students divided into groups and were guided through an activity where they decided whether certain scenarios were consensual, discussing topics like coercion in the process. 

Then, Rael spoke about her story.

Although it happened a year prior, she said that the effects were especially felt in her sophomore year. Rael isolated herself from people and from reality, turning toward a “dark state of depression,” where the feeling of joy was inhibited by the trauma she faced. 

“I lost hope for myself and it was very hard for me to want to experience life, or remind myself of how beautiful life can be,” she said.

Art was one way she expressed the emotions related to her experience. 

Encouraged by Fine Arts Department Chair Ms. Cha Asokan, the first adult Rael ever told about the assault — and a mandatory reporter — she utilized art as a method of self reflection. Rael credited Ms. Cha for being where she is now, and she questioned where she would be if it weren’t for her support and understanding. 

Besides using art as an outlet, Rael also spoke of the importance of reaching out to others for help.

“It’s always important to ask for help because there is always someone out there who cares about you and wants to help you get better,” she said. Rael said that asking for help allowed her to handle the side effects of sexual assault to a greater degree.

For students in need of support for themselves or others, Clackamas Women’s Services (CWS) provides numerous options for aid outside of La Salle.

As an organization that offers service for those undergoing any form of domestic or sexual violence, they assist individuals of any age, gender, and sexual orientation. They also provide a 24-hour crisis and support hotline accessible to teens that is not only confidential, but supported by youth advocates, as well as the opportunity to make in-person appointments at various locations.

For many years, CWS has come to La Salle and presented on topics such as, but not limited to, bystander intervention along with sexual and dating violence.

“They see it firsthand, so they’re aware of those strategies to help support victims, but also how to notice those red flags, those unsafe situations, how to recognize unhealthy relationships before they turn into violence,” Ms. Schuster said. “It feels like a really good fit to have them here — to be supporting students, but then also having more people within the community that are resources.”

The distinguishing factor between CWS and La Salle staff is that they are not mandatory reporters. Ms. Schuster explained that students “can call for themselves or a friend about any topics around violence” and it will remain entirely confidential. 

Ms. Berry suggested CWS as a helpful, first-line resource for those who don’t yet feel comfortable telling a mandatory reporter — someone who has a legal obligation to inform the authorities about possible abuse or violence — about their story.

Typically, many victims of sexual assault are in the younger age bracket.

According to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), a national non-profit organization, younger people — 15% of those aged 12-17 and 54% of those aged 18-34 — are at the highest risk of experiencing sexual assault.

For Rael, admitting what happened and seeking help was the first step in her path to healing. “If something has happened to you, I would recommend telling an adult,” she said. “Someone you can trust.”

She and Ms. Berry emphasized the importance of the victim’s choice when it comes to the process of healing trauma, and that they should decide the way, when, and how to move forward.

Because control, according to Ms. Berry, is what many victims feel they don’t have in the aftermath of assault. 

“Your body is taken from you,” she said. “You’re at the most vulnerable state you can be.”

After a while, Rael began playing soccer again — an activity she enjoyed when she was younger that reminded her of the person she was before the incident.

“I was able to gain control back over my body in a healthy way by doing physical activities,” Rael said, mentioning how she also started skateboarding and snowboarding around the same time. “Using my body for something that I enjoy helped me reconnect with it and realize that it’s mine, and has always been mine.”