Some of the songs on the album contain explicit content.
Tate McRae has been a young popstar since the age of 14, when she released her first-ever song, “One Day.” Now on her third studio album, “So Close to What,” McRae has utilized a wide variety of music styles but always conveys a deeper meaning within her music.
This album shows the harsh reality of growing and a lack of growth. Relationships take a lot of energy, and can be very difficult to make healthy when you have a past filled with toxic relationships. Many of these songs talk about the difficulties of balancing your past in order to grow and build yourself a better future.
I think this album has varied perspectives on relationships that highlight things that typically go unsaid. Society has trained us to be quiet about the toxicity we may face in relationships, but in recent times there have been more and more attempts to talk about relationship health, and make people feel comfortable talking about it.
“Miss possessive”: She is possessive and she doesn’t want her significant other to catch the attention of other girls. It has a catchy beat to drag in the audience’s attention, but not as deep as some of her other music.
“Revolving door”: She reflects on the repetitive nature of revisiting old situations or people from her past. Symbolizing life’s repeating patterns, McRae refers to her life as if it is a “never-ending revolving door,” stuck on an endless loop of old habits making it impossible to break free from them.
“bloodonmyhands (feat. Flo Milli)”: In relationships there is an expectation to be accountable for so many things. This track highlights the guilt some may carry when they slip up and make mistakes during a relationship, as if the blood is on their hands. When I am in a relationship, I am scared of messing up or making mistakes even though they are inevitable. This song does a great job expressing those feelings.
“Dear god”: McRae asks God to get rid of her memories with this man and stop her from going back. Asking for help shows that she feels out of control, powerless, and therefore helpless. I think this song is extremely impactful because sometimes past relationships can haunt us and stunt us from forming new and healthy relationships.
“Purple lace bra”: McRae shows that she isn’t being listened to even though she has been “screaming,” but she is only heard if she is appealing to someone. She desires to be heard, and is trying to figure out how she is able to express herself in a healthy way. In my life, not specifically in romantic relationships, but in many of them I feel the desperation of justifying myself, and I have a strong desire to be heard.
“Sports car”: McRae uses the analogy of a sports car to signify the thrill and rush of lust. The desire of feeling good can blind people from making real connections, just like a flashy sports car can make you look past the person driving behind the wheel. Sometimes the outside is blinding to what is really important about a person. In my life I have seen people date others just because of their looks, status, and money, and they ended up to be a bad partner, so it is important to look deeper than the surface.
“Signs”: Sometimes we say the opposite of what we mean or have trouble expressing our feelings with words and in turn make them known some other way. McRae says some of the things she does and what they mean. She expects her partner to know this already when she says, “if you love me, you should know me better.” I personally have made some of the things I say encrypted, and not the easiest to decipher, but the people who know me well always understand what I mean.
“I know love (feat. The Kid LAROI)”: As their relationship is officially public, they released a song with one another. She says she knows love when it hits her, and she knows what it’s like to be addicted to someone. The Kid LAROI says she needs to let her guard down because they have known each other for some time, but for some it can be scary to fall in love after past trauma. I keep my guard up sometimes, but have to work to let people into my life, which is something I have gotten better at, and I feel that people listening may feel like they can too.
“Like I do”: This song conveys deep affection and the understanding that people in healthy relationships have when they truly understand each other. She lacks trust in relationships, and doesn’t believe what she is hearing from another person. Having a fear of being used, and putting up walls is a sign of lacking trust, but many people live in this way and try to grow from it.
“It’s ok I’m ok”: She is talking about a guy from her past that another girl has shown interest in now. She talks negatively about him, but repeatedly has to tell herself that she is ok and that she doesn’t want him anymore. Telling herself she doesn’t want him and that she will be ok is what many people have to say to get over someone from their past.
“No I’m not in love”: McRae is trying to convince her friends that she isn’t in love and isn’t jealous because she can’t handle the fact that she is. Sometimes people tell themselves lies in order to protect themselves. She demonstrates this when she says, “the sky has never been blue,” which it technically isn’t but appears that way, like an illusion.
“Means I care”: She is admitting to not being true to her words. She doesn’t want to get hurt so when she sees herself start to care, she pushes people away and cuts them out. When she says, “little too good, got me second guessin’,” it means she doesn’t have trust for people.
“Greenlight”: She tried so hard to be what someone wanted her to be that now she’s accepted that she doesn’t know what to do and wants to run away. She is replaying her past in her head, and it affects her so much even in her current relationships. In my life sometimes the pressure to be perfect is crushing, and the feeling of being a failure is horrifying.
“2 hands”: This song explores balancing multiple emotions and elements of life. Love and desire can be hard to balance, and sometimes desire can become a distraction from what is truly good for us.
“Siren Sounds”: She doesn’t know what she really wants, and changes her mind quickly. She knows that she is doing the wrong thing, and it is bad for her, but she gives into that temptation. She is blind to the toxicity around her, “but we can’t see all the flames around. You and I, and I. We’re just dancing to the siren sounds.” Sometimes certain people can make it feel as if there is nothing else in the world, and it isn’t always a bad thing.
“Call my bluff”: This unreleased song shows the arguments we may have with ourselves when we can’t tell what we want or need. McRae says she isn’t good at relationships, and is trying to learn how to do better for her own benefit. Lying in order to make the situation better or to please the people around you happens very often, and only stops once you get called out for it.
“Better than I was”: Self growth is very important. Forgiveness is hard, and some people get drowned by their own past. She doesn’t want people to move on from her, and is disappointed in herself because she hasn’t grown out of the person that feels hurt to be a part of someone’s past. In my life I have strived to be better than I used to be in all my relationships, whether it’s romantic, a friendship, or familial, but it can be hard to change even when it’s necessary.
“Nostalgia”: She is saying how she wants to grow as a person, and to do what she wants so she won’t regret it later like she has seen others do in her life. You never realize what you have until it’s gone, and it just becomes nostalgia. The lives you have are all based on your past, your childhood, past relationships, family, community, etc.
Tate McRae is not silenced by society, and is seemingly becoming more comfortable with her voice. I found a lot of comfort in this album, and felt like there may be hope for people who don’t have a voice if celebrities come out and make it more safe to talk about. Like if a celebrity talks about an abusive relationship they’ve been in, it can give their audience hope that they can do the same.
I recommend giving this album a listen because it is very relatable to all aspects of navigating relationships, and even though there are more upbeat and fast paced songs, the overall message is clear and extremely relevant.
