When you’re not at home, and not at school or work, where are you most likely to be?

If no particular spot comes to mind, you may be in need of a “third place.”

In his book, “The Great Good Place,” published in 1989, sociologist Ray Oldenburg introduced the concept of three key settings:

The first place is home.

The second place is work or, for your average student, school. 

And the third place is a bit more nebulous, defined as a space for community, connection, and spontaneity. 

“Third places are nothing more than informal public gathering places,” Oldenburg wrote. 

Coffee shops, libraries, parks, churches, community centers, street stoops, and everything in between are all great examples of effective third places. In these areas, people should be able to relax and socialize with individuals from all walks of life — exposing them to perspectives outside their limited day-to-day experience.

Yet across the U.S., third places are disappearing. 

Why Do Third Places Matter?

Third places serve as the social glue of any community. They create opportunities to connect with people outside our immediate circles, and when done right, they build bridges between generational, cultural, and socioeconomic divides. In these locations, unmediated human interaction can bloom.

Without these spaces, however, we’re inevitably prodded into isolation. 

The loss is not just about physical locations but about the very fabric of human connection that these spots nurture and sustain.

Why Are Third Places Going Extinct?

Why Aren’t Digital Third Places the Solution?

Social media often masquerades as a modern third place, but never pushes people outside home, their first place. This leaves many people stuck in a monotonous cycle between home, school, and then home again.

Digital platforms promise community , but instead deliver a pale imitation of genuine human interaction. These virtual spaces are carefully curated, algorithmic echo chambers that filter out the spontaneity and unpredictability of real-world encounters. 

And, more notably, it’s harder to reach beyond the insular bubble these algorithms have manufactured for us. 

While not impossible, online it is more of an uphill climb to find people whose opinions and perspectives contrast your own, with technology often cultivating conversations where the same opinions are regurgitated, leaving room for polarizing opinions to create feedback loops of their own narrow-minded perspectives.

“Third places are face-to-face phenomena,” Oldenburg said. “The idea that electronic communication permits a virtual third place is misleading. ‘Virtual’ means that something is like something else in both essence and effect, and that’s not true in this instance. When you go to a third place you essentially open yourself up to whoever is there. And they may be very different from you… If you spend time with people you’re not going to hate them, it’s just that simple.”

While some argue that online communities offer meaningful connections — with only 9% of teen users saying social media affects them negatively — these interactions lack the fundamental ingredient of third places: the unmediated, physical presence of friends and acquaintances alike.

And clearly, even the artifice it provides isn’t working. Within that same study, users feel that 32% of their peers have a “mostly negative” relationship with social media — as opposed to previously low statistic estimated for themselves.

When people aren’t face to face, they aren’t self aware.

One in every four young people aged 15-18 years old reports themselves as feeling very lonely.

The internet may have spurred conversations, but it cannot replicate the subtle dance of in-person human communication.

Body language, impromptu jokes, the shared experience of physical space — these are all lost in digital translation.

The Solution

In a world of digital isolation, creating third places isn’t just a social nicety — it’s a survival skill. For high school students, breaking free from the cycle of screens and structured environments requires intentional action and collaborative engagement.

Start by looking beyond your immediate social circle. 

Everything from the main hallway to the corners of the cafeteria can become unexpected third places if you approach them with openness and curiosity. These aren’t just spaces — they’re opportunities for genuine connection.

Challenge yourself to:

• Put your phone away during breaks
• Strike up conversations with classmates you don’t know well
• Explore school spaces you’ve never visited before
• Join clubs or create study groups that aren’t just about academics

Most importantly, be the catalyst. 

Third places don’t make themselves: we do. Every meaningful connection starts with someone willing to step out of their comfort zone, set aside their devices, and genuinely engage with the people around them.

From cafés to community centers, gyms to churches, and barber shops to your local library, every space around us is brimming with potential for third place material.

But the third place isn’t just a location — it’s a mindset. It’s about being present, curious, and open to the unexpected conversations and connections that can transform a mundane school day into a rich, collaborative experience.

Community isn’t something that happens to you. It’s something you actively create, one conversation at a time.