I was always told that senior year would be the best year of my life. I would get to choose what the next step would be, and I would get to do whatever I wanted. At pep rallies, the seniors would win loudest class, simply because we were seniors. At football games, seniors would get to stand in the front and lead the cheers. I would get to be part of all the senior traditions. 

These expectations might have been true if we were not in a pandemic that has changed almost every aspect of our lives. The reality of being a senior is very different than what I thought it would be. 

For some people, distance learning has been a positive experience, but for me, it has been difficult being away from friends and teachers in the La Salle community. 

Experiencing senior year completely online is like sitting on the sidelines of your own life. Now, instead of getting to talk to friends during class, we sit in awkward breakout rooms. We get all the work of being seniors, but none of the fun.

Being the oldest in the school I get a sense of nostalgia, remembering what it was like to be the youngest. I get to recall all the good times I had throughout high school, getting ready for the school dances and football games with all of my friends, and the time spent in the main hallway after school. Most of all, I am reminded that I met my best friend on the volleyball court my freshman year.

Now that I’m 18, I get new responsibilities and freedoms that I always dreamed of having, but sometimes I catch myself wanting to go back.

Just as often as I want to go back, I get a strong dose of senioritis. The mere thought of the profound freedom that will come along with college is almost intoxicating.

I always thought that one of the best things about being a senior is deciding what to do after high school. That is, until you actually get to that point in your life and you have to make a huge decision that will change your life. 

I believed that applying to college would be an easy task and not very stressful. Although the essay writing and the request for recommendation letters were easy tasks, they did not come without anxiety and worrying.

Meeting deadlines was no hard task. After submissions, I would lay awake at night worrying about what happens next. Then came the emails and letters, and with each brought excitement or tears.

I thought I knew what I wanted after high school, but as soon as I started thinking about my future, it started getting more and more blurry. So I applied to many schools just to give myself options, but the more schools that offered me a spot, the more I was left confused on what I should do. I still have not made up my mind yet, but I am sure that whatever I chose to do will be what is best for me.

Before we can move on to college, seniors have to take their last steps across the stage at graduation. Like many others, I have dreamed about what it will be like to graduate.

But having a normal graduation seems impossible at this moment. Although it is unclear what it will look like at this time, I still know that it will be one of my proudest moments.

I have had so many ups and downs throughout this year, and some were out of my control, but as of right now, I am proud of myself for being able to overcome the obstacles that have stood in my way.

My only advice for those who are not yet seniors is to enjoy as much as you can. Go to every game or dance. When I look back, I am reminded of all the memories that I made and all of the memories I could have made if I had gone to every dance or game. Participate in as much as possible because at the end of the day, you will regret it if you do not fully enjoy what you are given.